Wedding planner myth #3: I don't need one, because my friends/family will help me.
We've put together some of the top myths about wedding planners. I can just imagine what you're thinking about this one.
"But mine actually will help me. And they won't mind at all that I'm asking them to give up weekend after weekend to help me visit multiple venues. And handwrite place cards. And lick envelopes. And go to the flower market at 5am. And give their opinion on the 15th baker I've found on Instagram. And..."
There is a LOT that goes into planning a wedding. People do it all the time, relying heavily on friends and family - and usually have mixed reviews about it, afterwards. It's absolutely possible to do it on your wedding day, rather than using a wedding planner. But let's dive a little deeper on this one, and see if it's something that needs a little more thought.
Asking your friends/family to help:
1. Puts a lot of pressure on them to say yes. We're pretty sure you like this person that you are asking to help you. And they probably feel quite fond of you. So asking them for help puts them in a really tricky spot, because they probably aren't so fussed on the chore (and let's be real - it probably is a chore) that you are offloading onto them. And at the same time, they feel that they can't say no, because it's your special day. So you're leaving them silently seething, while they grit their teeth and do your work for you.
2. Assumes they have the free time. Remember - this is your special day. Not their special day. And they still have a life - they still have dinner to cook, kids to look after, work to go to - and now their weekend is going to be spent doing your wedding tasks. By all means, bring friends and loved ones to your 'fun' appointments, like trying on a wedding dress or doing a cake tasting. But asking them to do your wedding admin, like designing wedding booklets, organising signage, or handstitching the table runners? That kinda sucks.
3. Can mean additional costs for them. Asking your friends or family members to drive across town picking up different items, or asking them to organise different events for you, can mean they can end up out of pocket. And that's not really fair, is it? They're already giving up their time, and now they're footing the bill, too.
4. Adds additional opinions into the mix. There are lots of decisions to make when planning a wedding - and sometimes a particularly vocal friend or family member can end up swaying you in a direction that you didn't want to go. There is such a thing as too many cooks in the kitchen - and it can be harder to hear your own voice and opinion over the noise of many other people.
5. Doesn't allow them to enjoy being a guest as much. Your friends and family are probably really excited to see you get married. Asking them to turn up 2 hours early before the ceremony starts, to place all of your DIY items and set the place up - they're not as excited by that. Do you really want your family fetching flowers and talking to the venue manager on the day? Or do you want to give them the gift of being present, and getting to be a guest? They should be spending the wedding morning relaxing and getting ready, not running errands. Weddings are the time to make memories - not the time to strong-arm your loved ones into being your personal workforce. Let them enjoy being a guest - chatting and mingling, having a glass of wine and a boogie on the dancefloor (once COVID-19 restrictions lift, of course!)
This list is by no means exhaustive, and the same can be said for asking friends to do 'jobs' for you on the day, whether this is being your MC, your wedding band, etc. Just remember this may be taking away from their ability to relax and enjoy the wedding as a guest, and also taking away precious time in the leadup. Have a think carefully before you start volunteering everyone for jobs!
If cost is your main barrier to seeking out a professional, you can do some of the work yourself, and use a wedding planner to do part of the wedding rather than all of it. Our wedding planning packages start from $1790, and our entry level package includes over 30 hours of assistance.
If hiring a wedding planner isn't possible, you might want to consider hiring a day-of wedding coordinator. This service isn't as comprehensive as a wedding planning service, but it takes a lot of pressure off of your loved ones to help with last minute jobs on the day. You'll have a professional there on the day to run the event for you, as well as reconfirm all of your bookings, in advance. Our coordination packages start from as little as $790.
Click the link below to contact us about planning or coordinating your wedding day or event, and find out how we can take on all those little (and big!) jobs, so you don't have to strong arm any friend or family into helping! Now - we'll cheers to that! 🥂